Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Lost (a songwriting experiment)

Just another lonely
afternoon
I wonder around
In a lifeless room

Finding answers to
the questions I don't have
But still I'm sinking
into a see of shadows

And I don't know
what to do

I don't mind
the feelings I got to hide
But I look into the mirror
only to find someone else
all this time

And I don't know
what to do

I'm lost in this
I feel ice cold although my
body is burning in fever

And I don't know
what to do


and now finally
the light as come
rushing in from the light less window
filling the room with
life and heat
but still...

And I don't know
what to do...

Brilho nos olhos

Inerte, sozinho e contemplando a paisagem que aquele alto rochedo lhe confere, ele sente-se, alias, ele é o Rei!

Ao fundo do vale algo se mexia, talvez uma mãe ralhava com o filho, um jovem casal partilhava sonhos ou algo mais, uma jovem aprendia uma valsa esquecida no tempo, alguém nascia, alguém morria... enfim o que entendemos por vida.
Mas ali, confundido por uma rocha, ele apenas via vultos e podia ver sem ser visto, acima de tudo imaginava o que se passava lá em baixo. Sem ninguém a perturba-lo ele olhava para o vale imaginando-o um vale perfeito, equilibrado a sua imagem. Sentia-se no entanto observado, algo estaria acima dele, mas não podia pois aquele era o rochedo mais alto da zona e ele não era religioso…

Sentiu o vento frio de norte, imaginou que a chuva não demoraria a fazer-se sentir naquele vale castigado. Centenas de anos de lutas feudais cicatrizaram o vale, rochas negras, ruínas dispersas de antes grandes fortalezas… mais subtis eram as cicatrizes com milhões de anos, falhas e fendas de terramotos, vulcões, ventos, tempestades… Sempre em constante mutação, imaginou as centenas de pessoas que teriam estado naquele lugar a contemplar aquela paisagem, milhares talvez… mas porque é que ele era especial?
Ele sentia-se único, talvez porque chegou lá como nenhum outro havia chegado! Olhou para cima, esboçou um sorriso e gritou o mais alto que pôde. Ele era o rei!

Em seguida ajoelhou-se e descarregou nas veias uma dose de heroína digna de um rei! Rebolou e deitou-se a admirar o céu enquanto o corpo era tomado de assalto pelo calor e formigueiro orgasmico… sentiu o sol na cara como um rei o sentiria e fechou os olhos, nem sentiu quando a terceira facada lhe perfurou o coração…. Na outra ponta da faca um sorriso e um brilho nos olhos… afinal…

O REI MORREU …. VIVA O REI!

Friday, January 12, 2007

The past future

As the day approach its end, and the night starts filling in, my eyes go straight to the sky above and towards my past, while I wonder about the present reaching for a glimpse of the future.

Then again I start one of those continuous loops that makes me wonder if this is to much time on my hands or if I'm starting to go insane... but as I write down this few words on the train I try to understand what's wrong for me to feel so strange... nothing and everything.

Egocentric

Some water, a few drops of paint, a brush and a new canvas, the tools for the perfect painting. Now we need a subject, search your enviroment... yourself.

Get a mirror and paint the perfect painting, and if the mirror image talks back to you, write it down and turn it into the perfect book...

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Dancing the waltz

The flash of light struck him has a meteor would, but what he wasn’t prepared was the emotions that followed that big flash.

For him that was like “the big bang”, a start of new life, a new himself. He made some brilliant resolutions, he would stop smoking, cared more for his family, called his mom more often and get a cat. He would start being more organized at home and work.
Once a month he would take his girlfriend to some place on the countryside and buy a convertible…
In his work we would get more motivation and try to get more education, do a new checkup and this time be more serious with his doctors prescriptions… help more people, start a new book, create a web blog, buy a digital camera, do a generous donation to UNICEF, do volunteer work in his vacations…

But was he still in time to repent himself? Another big flash followed by a bang struck him as hard as the first one…

He closed his eyes as hard as he could, and continued… a new house by the coast, see the sunrise more often and the sunset outside of office, buy more gifts for his girlfriend, ride a horse, learn a new foreign language, try to understand a philosopher, buy all the movies from his favorite director, see more plays, go with his friends to the stadium, join a gym, buy a complete set of golf clubs, go to the zoo, learn golf, join a club, start a secret order, paint a portrait of family including his third degree cousins, read more books, try to understand “cubism” “surrealism” and all art forms that end in “ism”, start his own sculpture…

Another flash... he can't stand it any more... He opens his eyes and accepts his destiny…

He gets used to the light and starts to see through the motions around him… something hit his head… it’s a cork! Hundreds of champagne bottles are opened at the same time corks are flying every where, everyone his celebrating… some pretty woman grabs him and gives him a breathtaking kiss… It’s New Year! He’s happy, this time his new years resolutions were going to stand! He relaxes a bit, entering the spirit and grabbing his own bottle and looking up to the fireworks, this time with his eyes open…

He senses another touch on his shoulder he turns around to face a new girl or a guy waiting for a New Year hug, but the only thing he notices the cold steel of a gun in his face and a frozen face…

Another flash, a bang and as the cork of his own bottle hit the floor he his already dead… and she’s dancing the waltz never noticing it...

Sunday, January 7, 2007

A light has gone out...

... but it might be a new star in the sky tonight.

After ten wonderfull years, our beloved kitty had to enter a new journey. It was a good life, spoiled by the whole family, and loved by all that had the luck to enter her territory and share some time with this smart and misterious being.

More than a pet, Xanita, was family. She knew when one was sick and she would huddle with that person until it was better... she eated when someone was eating alone just for company, always on our side when we were whatching t.v... crazy for shrimp and always ready to have her belly scratched and massaged...

Anything that could be turned into a ball it was her favorite toy... until some new ball was found! She cried, she laughed and she even gave me advices in her own manner. For me it was not a cat, but family... I wasn't living with her in the last years of her life but whenever I went to my parents house she was there waiting for me and when I saw her, I knew I was at home.

But now she went to another place to probably follow that gigantic ball or to warm the feet of someone who need it... farewell my princess and sleep well...


Welcome to the basement

In here I'll leave some of my delusions so that you can comment and treat as bad as you want...

OK?